This week marks 23 years of recovery from my eating disorder. As a Certified Eating Disorders Specialist and recovered professional, I’m often asked two questions regarding eating disorder recovery:
- How was I able to recover?
- What defines recovery from an eating disorder?
These two questions about eating disorder recovery are both simple and complex – I’m going to tell you what I tell my clients and also what I teach to my supervisees.
1. How was I able to recover?
This is my personal response and perspective – everyone’s recovery journey is different. Yet, there tends to be a common thread when you talk to people in eating disorder recovery, which is reflected in my answer to this question:
“My eating disorder was getting in the way of living the life that I wanted for myself.”
This is the simple part – the complexity is in the details which I won’t go into. I was in college and my eating disorder, being the life thief that it is, had taken SO much away from me. I finally recognized this. I didn’t choose to have an eating disorder but I could choose recovery. I had been in therapy for a while, had been in treatment once before, and found myself hospitalized again. This time around, I made the active choice to commit to treatment with the goal of full recovery. I was tired of living my life with the eating disorder – which to be honest, is not actually living. I wanted to graduate college, find a career, have full, meaningful relationships, and enjoy life. I recognized the eating disorder wasn’t leading me anywhere good. I made a commitment to myself and, while it wasn’t easy or a linear process, I fulfilled that commitment and carved out my path to full recovery that I’ve sustained for 23 years now.
Inevitably, this leads to the second question.
2. “What defines recovery from an eating disorder?”
This is a more difficult question to answer and is also personal and individually defined in many ways. I remember early on in my recovery journey making commitments to myself, including: “I will be honest with myself and those I love if I am struggling with food or body image” and “I will not skip meals”. These commitments were only the beginning of a foundation I built upon to sustain my recovery. Eating disorders have behavioral, emotional, cognitive, and social aspects to them. Your recovery from an eating disorder is going to look different, depending on what these aspects look like in your life.
Eating disorder professionals and researchers have had a difficult time pinning down a definition of recovery due to the varied and complex nature of eating disorders themselves. One of my favorite definitions of “recovered” is from Carolyn Costin who is recovered herself and a psychotherapist:
“Being recovered to me is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self destructive or unnatural relationship with food or exercise. When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life and what you weigh is not more important than who you are, in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size or reach a certain number on a scale.” – Carolyn Costin, M.A, M.ED, MFT (https://www.carolyn-costin.com)
Another way to define eating disorder recovery begins with identifying where and how the eating disorder is impacting you, such as your physical health, emotional health, relationships, hobbies/activities, and school/work and then reverse engineer what those areas would like like free of the eating disorder. For example:
- Physical Health: I have energy to get through my day. Any health problems that resulted from the eating disorder are resolved or reversed. I get regular hunger and fullness cues. I sleep through the night. I honor my body’s cues and listen to and respect my body.
- Emotional Health: I have decreased anxiety and/or depression. I am able to implement coping skills and strategies when needed. I can identify how I’m feeling and name it rather than using eating disorder behaviors to communicate. I engage in regular self-care.
- Relationships: I am able to be present and authentic in my relationships. I know that I am worthy of love and belonging.
- Hobbies/Activities: I am able to participate in the activities I love and am passionate about. I choose activities that bring me joy and fulfillment.
- School/Work: I am able to focus on school/work. I am able to pursue opportunities that serve my values/goals.
Ready to Begin Working Towards Eating Disorder Recovery?
I wouldn’t be sitting here, writing about eating disorder recovery, if I hadn’t made the active choice all those years ago to pursue recovery and then sustain it. I worked with some wonderful professionals along the way and have surrounded myself with a support system. I am grateful for my recovery and that at Embrace Strength Counseling, we are able to support others as they heal their relationships with food, body, and exercise. For more information about our approach to Eating Disorder Treatment or our services, please feel free to get in touch!